Afterschool Special Recipe: "Bad Girl on a Bar Stool," Beer Sorbet and Bar Stool Brittle

"Here’s the story/Of a lucky lady/Who was cooking up some really yummy food.

It was for the cast of My Fair Brady/So I tried not to come unglued."

Okay, okay, my rhyming skills need some work, but I’m trying to keep it classy here, which means lewd, stewed or poohed are out.

When I was in high school, I had the following obsessions; anything 1970s, anything on Food Network and a guy named Greg who looked exactly like Greg Brady but had Ben Affleck's teeth pre the veneers he was given for Armageddon.

To find myself in the kitchen, preparing a meal for Christopher Knight, aka: Peter Brady, and his wife Adrienne Curry (of America's Next Top Model fame--love that show!), took a teenage dream, rolled it in rad dust, dipped it in awesome sauce and served it up on a silver platter. The only thing that might have made it better is if my unrequited Barry Williams look-a-like love had walked through the door and asked me to prom.

For the Very Brady Birthday episode, airing next week on Food Network, I created a dessert I like to call "Bad Girl on a Bar Stool," a combination of beer sorbet and "Bar Stool" brittle, a toffee that incorporates all the snacks you'd find along the rail of a dive where your feet stick to the ground and peanut shells are the carpeting.

Beer sorbet is going to sweep the nation! Mark my words. It's flavor is close to lemon sorbet and the texture is between sorbet and a slushie (because of the alcohol in the beer, it melts very easily). Add in this ridiculous brittle and you have every great flavor dessert needs: sweet, salty and boozy.

The first thing you need is the juice and zest of two lemons, then you add one can of lemonade concentrate...

Add three bottles of lite beer...

Stir all the ingredients together and process the sorbet base in an ice cream maker according to the manufacturer's instructions...

This is what it looks like when it's done. Cover and freeze until ready to serve.

Next, prepare the brittle using these ingredients...

In a greased sheet pan, layer crumbled potato chips and pretzels...

Heat sugar, water, salt and corn syrup in a heavy bottom pan until it dissolves...

And turns a light amber color...

Immediately remove the sugar from heat and stir in baking soda and butter. The brittle changes instantly and starts to look like this...

Pour the hot brittle over potato chips and pretzels and top with Munch 'n' Crunch, peanuts, chocolate covered pretzels or any other treats you might want to use.

This is what it looks like when finished (and after your friends have started to dig in)...

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"Bad Girl on a Bar Stool" Recipe

makes 6-8 servings

Beer Sorbet:

3 12 oz bottles Miller Genuine Draft, Bud Lite Lime or other light beer
1 can lemonade concentrate
Zest and juice of 2 lemons

Mix together all ingredients and process in an ice cream maker following manufacturer's instructions for sorbet. Freeze until firm.

Bar Stool Brittle:

1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup light corn syrup
pinch salt
1/4 cup water
1 cup Munch ‘n’ Crunch or Cracker Jacks
1 cup pretzels
1 cup potato chips, lightly crushed
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon baking soda
4 oz. semi-sweet choc, melted (optional)
1 cup chocolate covered pretzels (optional)
1/4 cup beer nuts (optional)

Note: The idea for this brittle was to take everything you’d find on a bar and use it in a dessert. If you have a personal favorite to add, go for it!

Grease a large cookie sheet and sprinkle with crushed potato chips and pretzels. In a high-sided skillet over medium-high heat, combine sugar, corn syrup, salt and water. Stir and cook until sugar is dissolved and begins to turn a light amber color, about 7-10 minutes or until it reaches 300 degrees (for those of you with a candy thermometer).

Remove pan from heat and quickly stir in butter and baking soda. The brittle will instantly change; bubbling up, becoming caramel and releasing steam. Be very careful and work quickly.

Pour brittle over chips and pretzels on cookie sheet. Drizzle with Munch ‘n’ Crunch and anything you’re using that includes chocolate. Allow brittle to cool and snap into pieces.

Serve with beer sorbet.

Afterschool Special Recipe: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Treats

Getting ready to head to JMT's for a "Big Brother" finale viewing party with my own Bra-Gade last night, I decided I needed to whip up a treat befitting one of the most deliciously trashy shows on television. Scoping my cabinets, I found just what I needed:

Sugar cereal: Check.
Butter: Check.
Marshmallows: Check.

Everything I need to make a nouveau rice krispie treat. Perfectamundo!

A few years ago I started experimenting with new versions of the classic lunchbox treat and discovered that Cinnamon Toast Crunch, melted marshmallows and a little extra nutmeg yielded a scrumptious, sugary treat that hints at Egg Nog.

3 tablespoons unsalted butter or margarine
1 10 oz. package marshmallows
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
6 cups (1 box) Cinnamon Toast Crunch

To make Cinnamon Toast Crunch Treats, start by lightly greasing a 9 by 13 pan. Then, in a large pot, melt one 10 oz. bag of marshmallows and 3 tablespoons of unsalted butter over medium heat. When melted, add 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon and 1/2 a teaspoon nutmeg. Remove from heat and add 1 box (6 cups) of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Stir until well combined.

Lightly press into your prepared pan and allow to cool before cutting into squares.

Then be prepared for a major sugar rush which can lead to all kinds of shenanigans, i.e. pretending your trapped under a glass table (and she wasn't even drunk).

Another summer of The Chenbot, 3am "Big Brother After Dark" bedtimes and some of the best, mindless entertainment TV has to offer has come to an end. Peace out, Meow Meow. We'll miss you.

Afterschool Special Recipe: Truffled Grilled Cheese with Crimini Mushrooms (aka: The Fungus Among Us)

I've been really into the idea of comfort food lately and decided to start posting recipes I'm going to call the Afterschool Specials, food for the sophisticated inner child. I'm going to take things we all grew up eating, like grilled cheese, pizza, sloppy joe's, fish sticks, and give them a mature modern twist.

First up: my favorite grilled cheese recipe!

Every April, in honor of Grilled Cheese Month, Los Angeles hosts the annual Grilled Cheese Invitational. Having never received an invite, my friends Amy Jo and Jason started hosting their own Grilled Cheese Social, a backyard throw down that requires multiple panini makers, numerous hot plates, a web of extension cords and pounds of butter. What starts out friendly eventually turns vicious as everyone battles for supremacy and by the end of the day you stumble home, high on congealed dairy, breathing like a fat man sprinting to the top of the Empire State Building. It’s totally awesome! Last year I was edged out of victory by one stankin’ vote, defeated by a sandwich that used a Krispy Kreme donut as its bread base. Cheap parlor tricks!

This is the sandwich that was robbed of glory, The Fungus Among Us, an offering that combines creamy cheese and woodsy depth on sweet, fluffy bread but, best of all, is topped with truffle oil, aka: liquid gold. You show me someone who doesn’t like truffle oil and I’ll show you someone who’s denying their taste buds one of life’s great pleasures.

Serves Four

2 cups Crimini mushrooms, roughly diced
3 tablespoons Italian parsley, finely chopped
Salt and fresh ground pepper to taste
8 slices Havarti cheese
8 slices buttery, soft, sweet white bread, such as Oroweat’s Country Potato Bread
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 scant teaspoon truffle oil
salt to taste

(Note: You should never heat truffle oil, it burns off the flavor. It’s best drizzled over a dish just before serving.)

Lightly coat a non-stick skillet with cooking spray and place over medium-high heat.

Add mushroom and sauté until tender and all liquid has evaporated, 7-8 minutes. Generously season with salt and pepper to taste and remove from heat.

In a small bowl, toss cooked mushrooms with Italian parsley and set aside.

Return cleaned skillet to stovetop and reduce heat to medium. You want the pan to be hot enough to melt your cheese, but not so hot that the bread scorches.

Generously butter one side of each piece of bread and lightly salt.

Place a piece of bread, buttered side down, in the skillet and top with cheese, a sprinkled layer of mushrooms, a second slice of cheese and another piece of butter bread, buttered side up.

Grill until bread is golden brown and bottom layer of cheese begins to melt, about 3 minutes.

Carefully flip sandwich over and continue cooking until the second side is golden brown and cheese is melted, 2-3 minutes.

Remove sandwich from heat and place on a cutting board while you repeat process with the remaining ingredients.

Just before serving, drizzle with truffle oil and a final light sprinkling of salt.

Serve immediately and enjoy!