An Online Dating Update--I'm Only "Good-Looking"?

I honestly don't know how I feel about this.

Opening my inbox tonight, I found an email from OKCupid proclaiming me "good-looking." It explained that I'll now see better looking people in my searches and offered reassurance that this isn't a mass email, but, if I was unsure, to "go ask an ugly friend."

There's no need to get all feisty, OKCupid.

The new distinction brought on a sudden rush of guilt and annoyance. Guilt because lately Rachel and I have been playing "Hot or Not," casually stubbing out suitors' dreams with a one-star rating and laughing our asses off, not realizing it actually had some sort of impact, and annoyance because I was only deemed "good-looking." What a wane distinction. But it got worse. Reading the email more carefully, I realized it only qualified me in the upper 50%.

Excuse moi, OKCupid?

I graduated high school at 16 and college cum laude, I walked and talked by the time I was nine months old, I run an 8 minute mile, I was Miss San Francisco and I've made out with movie stars; 50% my ass! Give me the upper echelons or give me death!

All this in the midst of a serious crisis of conviction. Two weeks into my online dating experiment and I only have one date to show for it and zero prospects on the horizon. Might my new qualification up my ante? Perhaps, but I'm feeling a bit deflated and when I feel deflated I crave a burrito. But this is a big week for me and I need to try to keep it tight and right so I'm going to attempt to squelch those craving with the same Mexican flavors I love, but in a healthier vessel with...

Potato and Onion Tortilla with Spicy Pickled Carrots and Grapes
makes 8 servings

Tortilla:
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 potatoes, peeled and diced
2 onions, diced
7 eggs
1/4 cup milk
Salt and pepper to taste

Spicy Pickled Carrots and Grapes:
2 large carrots, peeled and sliced into 1/4 inch thick pieces
2 cloves garlic peeled and sliced
1/2 white onion, sliced
1 cup white vinegar
1/2 cup water
1 bay leaf
8 peppercorns
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup pickled jalapenos
2 cups seedless grapes, green and red

In a large saucepot over medium-high heat, bring vinegar and water to a boil. Add carrots, garlic, onion, peppercorns, salt and bay leaf. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 5 minutes.

Add jalapenos and grapes, reduce heat to low and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Remove from heat, cover and chill overnight in pickling liquid.

To cook tortilla, preheat oven to 350 degrees and heat oil in a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat.

Add potatoes and onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown. Whisk together eggs and milk, season to taste and pour over browned potatoes and onions.

Reduce heat to medium and cook until tortilla is set around edges, about 3 minutes.

Place skillet in oven and baked until tortilla is cooked through and firm to the touch, about 5 minutes.

Slice and serve with pickled grapes and carrots.